This is Lukas Gruber's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|Who is the greatest singer ever?||Britney Spears|
|Will I die soon?||Yes|
|Evolution or intelligent design?||Intelligent design|
|What color is a zebra?||White with black stripes|
|Can I get a witness?||Yes you do|
Abortion; yes or no?
No, pro life
Lukas Gruber is a 40 years old fairly hairy macaque, who has 10 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 4 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Gruber's favorite drink is mint Julep, preferably enjoyed in immense quantities in the morning.
Gruber wears size x-grande hats and likes to play vuvuzela. Gruber habitually throws feces 9 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 14 (on a scale). Gruber types at 280 words per minute, and their favorite key is N.
Lukas is born Nigerien, and now lives in Wales with their partner of 5 years, Enos Gruber, and the only slightly criminal couple's 6 children. Gruber can accelerate from zero to 100 in 8 seconds, and knows 49 digits of pi by heart.
Gruber's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is INFJ, which most clearly manifests in Lukas having blood type A+, and being a virgo and cat person. Gruber prefers the right side of the bed. Gruber's favorite Spice Girl is Posh Spice, and their favorite album is ...Baby One More Time. Gruber suffers from a mild hedonophobia.