This is Gordo van Dÿk's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|Who will win the 2016 US presidential election?||Hillary Clinton|
|Is this a bad idea?||Very yes|
|There's famously only two types of people in the world. Which type are you?||The ones that entertain|
|Have smartphones destroyed an entire generation?||No|
|Who will win the 2008 US presidential election?||Barack Obama|
Gordo van Dÿk is a 35 years old fairly hairy baboon, who has 15 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 3 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. van Dÿk's favorite drink is Shirly Temple, preferably enjoyed in immense quantities in the morning.
van Dÿk wears size pequeuño hats and likes to play flute. van Dÿk habitually throws feces 15 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 13 (on a scale). van Dÿk types at 170 words per minute, and their favorite key is the left shift key.
Gordo is born Nicaraguan, and now lives in Gibraltar with their partner of 0 years, Ellen van Dÿk, and the constantly fighting couple's 4 children. van Dÿk can accelerate from zero to 100 in 12 seconds, and knows 21 digits of pi by heart.
van Dÿk's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is INTP, which most clearly manifests in Gordo having blood type B+, and being a leo and cat person. van Dÿk prefers the underside of the bed. van Dÿk's favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice, and their favorite album is The Singles Collection. van Dÿk suffers from a crippling acrophobia.