This is Joseph Doe's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|Am I gay?||No, you're bi|
|Who will win the 2012 US presidential election?||Mitt Romney|
|Have smartphones destroyed an entire generation?||No|
|How was a first cosmonaut in space||Armstrong|
|Is a hotdog a sandwich?||No|
Can I get a witness?
Yes you do
Joseph Doe is a 55 years old fairly hairy marmoset, who has 12 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 7 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Doe's favorite drink is metaxa, preferably enjoyed in vast quantities in the morning.
Doe wears size medio hats and likes to play bagpipe. Doe habitually throws feces 15 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 11 (on a scale). Doe types at 290 words per minute, and their favorite key is R.
Joseph is born Djiboutian, and now lives in Latvia with their partner of 2 years, Terk Doe, and the constantly fighting couple's 4 children. Doe can accelerate from zero to 100 in 6 seconds, and knows 33 digits of pi by heart.
Doe's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ENTJ, which most clearly manifests in Joseph having blood type A-, and being a virgo and dog person. Doe prefers the underside of the bed. Doe's favorite Spice Girl is Posh Spice, and their favorite album is Britney Jean. Doe suffers from a mild chlorophobia.