This is Ellen Merkel's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|What time is it?||Yes|
|Who will win the 2008 US presidential election?||John McCain|
|Is a hotdog a sandwich?||No|
|Who is the greatest singer ever?||Christina Aguilera|
|Who will win the 2016 US presidential election?||Donald Trump|
Who is the best sportsperson in the world?
Ellen Merkel is a 39 years old quite hairy marmoset, who has 5 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 2 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Merkel's favorite drink is cointreau, preferably enjoyed in moderate quantities in the morning.
Merkel wears size x-grande hats and likes to play kazoo. Merkel habitually throws feces 13 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 2 (on a scale). Merkel types at 250 words per minute, and their favorite key is 4.
Ellen is born Indonesian, and now lives in Netherlands Antilles with their partner of 0 years, Albert Merkel, and the unhappy couple's 0 children. Merkel can accelerate from zero to 100 in 11 seconds, and knows 64 digits of pi by heart.
Merkel's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ESFJ, which most clearly manifests in Ellen having blood type A-, and being a gemini and cat person. Merkel prefers the left side of the bed. Merkel's favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice, and their favorite album is Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Merkel suffers from a crippling phobophobia.