This is Rafiki Merkel's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|Am I gay?||No, you're bi|
|Hitler; hero or zero?||Zero|
|What color is the dress?||White and gold|
|Have smartphones destroyed an entire generation?||Yes|
|Is global warming real?||No|
Who will win the 2004 US presidential election?
Rafiki Merkel is a 56 years old quite hairy spider monkey, who has 14 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 5 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Merkel's favorite drink is cognac, preferably enjoyed in vast quantities in the evening.
Merkel wears size x-grande hats and likes to play flute. Merkel habitually throws feces 13 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 9 (on a scale). Merkel types at 220 words per minute, and their favorite key is #.
Rafiki is born Swedish, and now lives in Bahamas with their partner of 2 years, Noam Merkel, and the only slightly criminal couple's 2 children. Merkel can accelerate from zero to 100 in 19 seconds, and knows 54 digits of pi by heart.
Merkel's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ESTP, which most clearly manifests in Rafiki having blood type A+, and being a libra and cat person. Merkel prefers the left side of the bed. Merkel's favorite Spice Girl is of course Sporty Spice, and their favorite album is Greatest Hits: My Prerogative. Merkel suffers from a crippling agoraphobia.