Ask Rafiki Merkel a question

Hot Topics

This is Rafiki Merkel's thoughts about some current hot topics:

Question Answer
Am I gay? No, you're bi
Hitler; hero or zero? Zero
What color is the dress? White and gold
Have smartphones destroyed an entire generation? Yes
Is global warming real? No

Hot topic opinion

Who will win the 2004 US presidential election?

John Kerry

Merkel, Rafiki

About Rafiki Merkel

Rafiki Merkel is a 56 years old quite hairy spider monkey, who has 14 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 5 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Merkel's favorite drink is cognac, preferably enjoyed in vast quantities in the evening.

Merkel wears size x-grande hats and likes to play flute. Merkel habitually throws feces 13 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 9 (on a scale). Merkel types at 220 words per minute, and their favorite key is #.

Rafiki is born Swedish, and now lives in Bahamas with their partner of 2 years, Noam Merkel, and the only slightly criminal couple's 2 children. Merkel can accelerate from zero to 100 in 19 seconds, and knows 54 digits of pi by heart.

Merkel's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ESTP, which most clearly manifests in Rafiki having blood type A+, and being a libra and cat person. Merkel prefers the left side of the bed. Merkel's favorite Spice Girl is of course Sporty Spice, and their favorite album is Greatest Hits: My Prerogative. Merkel suffers from a crippling agoraphobia.