This is Alice Kastrati's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|There's famously only two types of people in the world. Which type are you?||The ones that observe|
|Will I die soon?||No|
|Is a hotdog a sandwich?||No|
|What time is it?||no|
|Can I get a witness?||What's the need for that?|
What is the question?
or not to be
Alice Kastrati is a 26 years old not-at-all hairy Canadian macaque, who has 5 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent one year as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Kastrati's favorite drink is cosmopolitan, preferably enjoyed in moderate quantities in the afternoon.
Kastrati wears size grande hats and likes to play accordion. Kastrati habitually throws feces 14 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 11 (on a scale). Kastrati types at 80 words per minute, and their favorite key is 9.
Alice is born Costa Rican, and now lives in Spain with their partner of 0 years, Tiny Kastrati, and the unhappy couple's one child. Kastrati can accelerate from zero to 100 in 12 seconds, and knows 7 digits of pi by heart.
Kastrati's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ESFJ, which most clearly manifests in Alice having blood type O+, and being a gemini and dog person. Kastrati prefers the right side of the bed. Kastrati's favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice, and their favorite album is ...Baby One More Time. Kastrati suffers from a crippling ergophobia.