Merkel, Alice

Alice Merkel is a 43 years old not-at-all hairy squirrel monkey, who has 11 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 0 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Merkel's favorite drink is black Russian, preferably enjoyed in large quantities in the night.

Merkel wears size x-grande hats and likes to play guitar. Merkel habitually throws feces 11 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 6 (on a scale). Merkel types at 30 words per minute, and their favorite key is B.

Alice is born Iranian, and now lives in Eritrea with their partner of 4 years, King Merkel, and the only slightly criminal couple's 5 children. Merkel can accelerate from zero to 100 in 17 seconds, and knows 22 digits of pi by heart.

Merkel's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ISFJ, which most clearly manifests in Alice having blood type O-, and being a cancer and cat person. Merkel prefers the underside of the bed. Merkel's favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice, and their favorite album is Greatest Hits: My Prerogative. Merkel suffers from a crippling chlorophobia.