This is Noah Zhirinovsky's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|What color is the dress?||White and gold|
|What time is it?||Yes|
|Can I get a witness?||What's the need for that?|
|Abortion; yes or no?||No, pro life|
|Am I gay?||No, you're bi|
Who is the best sportsperson in the world?
Noah Zhirinovsky is a 36 years old very hairy spider monkey, who has 7 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 4 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Zhirinovsky's favorite drink is rum, preferably enjoyed in large quantities in the evening.
Zhirinovsky wears size grande hats and likes to play banjo. Zhirinovsky habitually throws feces 12 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 7 (on a scale). Zhirinovsky types at 60 words per minute, and their favorite key is ^.
Noah is born South American, and now lives in Sweden with their partner of 7 years, Nekane Zhirinovsky, and the happy couple's one child. Zhirinovsky can accelerate from zero to 100 in 7 seconds, and knows 65 digits of pi by heart.
Zhirinovsky's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ISFJ, which most clearly manifests in Noah having blood type A+, and being a scorpio and cat person. Zhirinovsky prefers the right side of the bed. Zhirinovsky's favorite Spice Girl is Posh Spice, and their favorite album is Britney Jean. Zhirinovsky suffers from a mild agoraphobia.