This is Noah Smirnov's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|Can I get a witness?||Yes you do|
|Am I gay?||Yes, you're gay|
|What is the question?||or not to be|
|Abortion; yes or no?||No, pro life|
|Who will win the 2016 US presidential election?||Donald Trump|
Am I gay?
Yes, you're gay
Noah Smirnov is a 35 years old quite hairy squirrel monkey, who has 5 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 2 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Smirnov's favorite drink is whisky (neat), preferably enjoyed in large quantities in the night.
Smirnov wears size grande hats and likes to play viola. Smirnov habitually throws feces 9 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 1 (on a scale). Smirnov types at 310 words per minute, and their favorite key is H.
Noah is born Ethiopian, and now lives in Kosovo with their partner of 2 years, Saddam Smirnov, and the constantly fighting couple's 5 children. Smirnov can accelerate from zero to 100 in 11 seconds, and knows 20 digits of pi by heart.
Smirnov's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ESTP, which most clearly manifests in Noah having blood type AB-, and being a capricorn and dog person. Smirnov prefers the underside of the bed. Smirnov's favorite Spice Girl is Posh Spice, and their favorite album is B in the Mix: The Remixes. Smirnov suffers from a mild cyberphobia.