This is Noel Merkel's thoughts about some current hot topics:
|There's famously only two types of people in the world. Which type are you?||The ones that observe|
|Who will win the 2004 US presidential election?||John Kerry|
|Who is the greatest singer ever?||Christina Aguilera|
|Is a hotdog a sandwich?||Yes|
|Can I get a witness?||What's the need for that?|
Who will win the 2000 US presidential election?
George W. Bush
Noel Merkel is a 36 years old fairly hairy gorilla, who has 0 years experience in the drunk monkey consulting business. Before that, they spent 7 years as a sideshow monkey for a traveling street organ artist. Merkel's favorite drink is mimosa, preferably enjoyed in immense quantities in the night.
Merkel wears size medio hats and likes to play banjo. Merkel habitually throws feces 4 (metric) meters and has an Excel proficiency of 7 (on a scale). Merkel types at 200 words per minute, and their favorite key is *.
Noel is born Prussian, and now lives in Luxembourg with their partner of 6 years, Rafiki Merkel, and the only slightly criminal couple's 7 children. Merkel can accelerate from zero to 100 in 20 seconds, and knows 47 digits of pi by heart.
Merkel's Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is ENFP, which most clearly manifests in Noel having blood type A-, and being a libra and cat person. Merkel prefers the underside of the bed. Merkel's favorite Spice Girl is of course Sporty Spice, and their favorite album is In The Zone. Merkel suffers from a crippling chlorophobia.